Facing your Fears
Have you faced one of those days, weeks or months when you feel stuck? Maybe you’ve hit a wall, had a breakup, lost your job, transferred to a new location? You feel alone and not sure what the next step is. Maybe things haven’t changed in a long time but you feel frustrated, worthless, that your dreams are never going to happen so you’ve given up.
I’ve been there more times than I would like to remember. My husband and I have moved more than twenty times in our marriage, started several businesses only to see them disappear one way or the other. No novel yet. That was my goal as a teen, yet I continue to write, unsure that what I am writing is making any difference.
It’s easy to get off your schedule and find yourself spinning your wheels trying to get back on the highway of “normal.”
A month ago I had surgery. It was a little scary. The months leading up to it, I was so sick that my blog, writing projects, and work fell behind. Things are going great now after the surgery. In fact, I feel better than I have in a long, long time. Yet, I feel stuck.
The process of digging myself out of the pile of “to-do’s” is overwhelming.
When I was learning how to drive, my grandfather made me drive his pickup truck through a terrible rain storm. It was practice he said. I know he did it because he cared about me. My father had died when I was twelve. My grandmother was terrified of driving and never got her license. My grandfather wanted me to be independent and felt a burden of doing what my father could no longer do. He wasn’t in the best of health and I was afraid we would get stuck or have an accident and he wouldn’t be able to make it back home.
It Takes Tenacity
But he insisted.
So we drove through the storm.
My worst fears came to be. We got stuck, in the middle of nowhere. Pouring rain, mud up to the truck bed, not going anywhere. After several tries with me behind the steering wheel and my grandfather pushing the truck, he sent me walking home to find some help. At that point, I felt defeated and like an idiot.
Somehow my 70-year-old grandfather, with a lot of yelling and cursing, got that truck unstuck. By the time I got back, he met me halfway.
I wanted to be just like him.
There’s a lesson here
Had I just followed my grandfather’s instructions as we were nearing the big ole pothole, (more like a gorge) and rammed the engine and zoomed through it, we wouldn’t have gotten stuck. I watched him do it a million times but when I was driving, the pothole looked bigger, deeper, horrifying.
As soon as we take our eyes off of what we know to be true and start disbelieving in what’s possible, a wall develops. It becomes a huge barrier that stands between us and our destiny.
Breaking down the Wall
Are you facing a storm of your own today?
I was so fearful that my surgery would somehow change me for the worst instead of for the better. I put it off time and time again because of that fear, suffering unnecessarily.
What do you keep putting off?
When everything in your mind is telling you to expect the worst, why don’t you decide to believe for the best?
That’s what I decided to do and it’s not the first time.
After several moves in the early years of our marriage, I knew I had to get out of my comfort zone to be happy. I was lonely many times living in a new place, not knowing anyone with family sometimes far away. But it was these times that taught me valuable lessons.
Take a Step
I got out, met new people. They had different beliefs, values, and upbringings. My worldview began to evolve from a small, southern town culture. It broadened as I saw people not as lacking because they were different from me but as interesting. I learned that people didn’t have to be the same as me to be kind or helpful. Shedding some of my stereotypical thinking, I learned to value and appreciate many types of individuals, cultures, and experiences.
I became a new me. Instead of wallowing in misery, I embraced it. That decision served me well we continued to move. It also served me well in writing.
Don’t get me wrong, I very much treasure my roots, my heritage, my experiences but at the same time I’ve learned not to let them determine how I see others.
Today can be your new day. Where do you need to reinvent yourself? Broaden your thinking, your acceptance of others and especially yourself? Stop being angry or disappointed with yourself, your lack, your wasted time, your mistakes, your failures.
Today is a new day.
(THIS POST CONTAINS AFFILIATE LINKS (UNDERLINED).TO READ MY DISCLOSURE POLICY SEE HERE.)
7 WAYS REINVENT YOURSELF
- Start a new eating lifestyle – not a diet. Make up your mind that you’re ditching the high fructose, loaded with sugar and fat, pre packaged groceries and picking up some fresh veggies and fruit.
- Change or kick off a weekly exercise regimen. Start with walking. I love putting my earbuds on and listening to a weekly podcast from one of my favorite authors while walking. I usually do an hour but started with 30 minutes a day. Take up strength training, paddle boarding, dance, hike – just do something different.
- Get out some of those old notebooks if you’re a writer. Go through them and see if there’s a new story. For non-writers, think back to some of your past goals and dreams. Pick one and go after it. What have you always wanted to do but never got around to?
- Get rid of one thing that’s not benefiting your mental or physical health and replace it with something that will. (For me, it’s tv and social media.) I only give myself 2 nights a week that I watch tv. I’ve cut out social media till in the late evening when I’ve finished everything else.
- Learn something new. There are thousands of online classes, most are free. Why not pick a class that’s held in your community and meet some new friends.
- Teach a class. That might be scary but it’s time to spread your wings and fly. I’m teaching in conjunction with my local community, ESILL (Eastern Shore Institute for Lifelong Learning). If you’re in the Fairhope, Alabama area, you can join me. We will be learning Blogging Basics and Blogging for Writers.
- Be good to yourself. Get a new outfit, hairstyle, computer or desk. Dress up a space that’s just for you. Stop being good to everyone else while you ignore yourself.
You can be a new you
You are the only You there is. You have to take care of You so YOU can take care of everyone else!
Being sick isn’ fun and after struggling for almost five years, I decided to have that scary procedure. Many times we do that in life, we struggle thinking things will get better instead of taking a step toward what’s BEST.
If I could go back in time, I would tell myself to stop putting off so many things because of fear. I would tell myself to just take a step. Since I can’t do that, I’m telling you.
Stop being afraid.
Take a step.
Enjoy your life to the fullest!
Develop ~ Persevere ~ Thrive